Love and Charms.

What has happened to the African society, our Ugandan society? In the days before both men and women respected each other, loved each other and were always a union of lasting peace in the society.

This love is not a simple thing so to say, it carries a sacred notion as well, most religious books have addressed the subject of love between man and woman and how it should be expressed and giving the different roles both should play for a forever lasting relationship. And most people have always approached this love with a religious background since religion has a great bearing in the lives of most Ugandans.

However, there is something cooking in the background of this so called ‘relationship’. Something am afraid is against religion and reason too by the way. Charming love, so it is. A concept no one really understands when it started but always associated with traditional healers and we all know these fellows have been around for quite some time now. They do their business with the freedom our country offers just like any health facility or business entity. I have read one of their adverts being returning lost lovers and finding a lover. My palms are actually sweaty as I write this, do not worry it is not fear.

Going further, the business of finding lovers and returning lost lovers by these traditional healers involves the use of charms, whose prescriptions are given and normally involve total discretion. Not your usual painkillers you take in the sight of everyone. Ideally, for any relationship to exist, it involves one person approaching the other, and society decided long ago that it is men to approach women and convince them and normally a lot is at stake here, one’s way of approach, their condition and a lot more that each person would love to see in another. The worst that can happen here to anyone is rejection.

When a person is rejected by another they would go and wallow in self pity or anger in private and then let it go and find someone else. But in the society we live in today, being rejected by someone doesn’t sit well with people. For the guys he could make a bet with his friends for one of them to play with the girl’s feelings. For a girl there are two things she could “charm” you or seduce you and get pregnant by you. Many men have been trapped in relationships by women deliberately getting pregnant.

It is so sad that this is what it has come to and what is even more saddening is the fact that pregnancy is actually one of the humane like things to do, something simple because there are things that are worse than that. Things like “charms”, while both women and men do use this, it is more popular among the women than it is among the men.

It is horrifying to think about the different charms women use to keep men that don’t want them. One of which is cooking him one’s menstrual blood, am not only sure what exact quantity is recommended. As if that is not enough, these fearless creatures of God go ahead and feed their men with fecal matter, I mean human poo. Yes, this poo is mixed with pasted sauce and served to the men to eat, apparently it is always tasty, can imagine how many of you men have eaten tasty food, but you may keep that to yourself.

You can imagine how much filth and dirt people have consumed in the name of love, how about we call it selfish love, because that is what it is. Whatever motive drives our women to put their men in the bottle “okuteka omusajja mu kyupa”can only be explained and understood by them. But they seem so comfortable and daring whoever will point an accusing finger, because to them it is the least they can do for love and try to look even in a male dominated society. But should they stoop that low?

It is so sad and terrifying to know that your choice can be taken from you. That someone can want you and not care that you don’t want them. And instead employ methods to ensure that they get you. But is it fair to the people these things are done to and what right do those that do it have to do it. Yes it is not an easy pill to swallow being rejected by someone but then I’m sure those that do it also have people they reject for various reasons. So why then do they take that choice away from others? And how do they feel knowing someone is with them because they charmed them and this person’s choice has been taken from them.

Women justify themselves by claiming that it is society that makes them do that. That an unmarried woman is looked down on in society. And apparently this forces them to resort to extreme measures. In my opinion this is just an excuse because whatever society does or does not do, our decisions are in our hands and at the end of the day we are part of society, we make up the society and we too judge other women that are unmarried.

Be it as it may, this is something happening daily in our lives, we either know someone doing it, or have heard or read stories of someone doing it, wherever category we fall in, we can do something about it. At least the worst should be that you seek God’s hand in the deliverance of these folks before you and I become victims of this gruesome and ghastly growing culture.